RESOLVING ANGER

In 2001 I  attended a seminar on "Anger Resolution" hosted by The Institute in Basic Life Principles. Here are the notes I took and the principles I gleaned. I hope they will be a help to you.

God Bless, 

Rev Kev

Eccl 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Satan has four primary weapons in his arsenal he employs to destroy the lives of Saint and Sinner – 1. Bitterness,  2. Pride,  3. Immorality,  4. Deception.

Man’s Anger Is Always Wrong. No good result ever comes from anger (do not mistake instant personal gratification with a good result).  Man is not capable of expressing anger in a righteous manner. Only God can display anger in a righteous manner. What about righteous indignation?  The term is never found in the Word of God, though the principle is. However, the only person who is able to express “righteous indignation” is God.

Consider The Fruit’s of The Flesh vs The Fruit’s of The Spirit – Galatians 5:19-26 

Fruit of The Flesh – v 19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness (could be reference to STD’s), lasciviousness (absence of restraint), Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance (to cut apart), emulations (jealousy), wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings (fighting), and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Fruit of The Spirit – v 22-26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

I.  THE URGENCY OF RESOLVING ANGER

Anger Destroys Relationships – Prov 16:27-30   An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire. 28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. 29 A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good. 30 He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.

Anger is a common denominator among juvenile delinquents; major cause of broken marriages; a chief contributor to many health problems; primary factor in loss of productivity in the workplace.

Anger Destroys Health – Heart disease, Atherosclerosis, Hypertension & Kidney Damage, High Cholesterol.

Anger Is A Giant Every Person Must Conquer – Genesis 4.  It is not limited to a particular group, race, culture, or economic, social, educational background.  It is a universal problem.  From among 10,000 men surveyed across America, 95% acknowledged they had a problem with anger (the other 5% have a problem with lying).  Anger was one of the first manifestations of sin following the fall in Genesis 3.  It resulted in the first murder.

Anger Is A Deep-rooted Problem – Prov 19:19-20 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again. 20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

II.  VISIBLE EVIDENCES OF ANGER – Eccl 7:9.   Many people who are angry deny that they are. Take note of the following symptoms of anger.

Surface Manifestations of Anger (the fruit on your tree).  Irritability, Impatience, Raised Voice, Glaring eyes, Hurtful words, Explosive actions, Cutting off of communication, Argumentation, Clenched teeth, Heavy breathing

Surface Causes for Anger (wrong attitude).  Inferiority, Fear, Rebellion towards authority, Envy, Boredom, Insecurity, Guilt, Frustration.

Root Problems Behind Anger (primary character flaw).  Bitterness, Temporal values, Moral impurity.

Root Causes of Anger  (wrong response to God).  Resisting the grace of God, Lacking humility (Prov 22:14), and Violation of clear Scriptural mandate and principles (Prov 15:1, 18; 16:32; 19:11; Eccl 7:9).

Hebrews 12:14-17  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.

17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

 IDENTIFYING THE SPIRIT OF ANGER 

Luke 9:54-56.

Jesus is saying to James and John, “You do not realize the spirit that is coming from you.”  Many people who have learned how to “control” their anger are still experiencing the consequences of anger (broken relationships, health problems, rebellion, etc) because they have only “tried” to control and have not “resolved” anger by “tearing down the stronghold” of anger (2 Cor 10:3-6).  Discerning the spirit of anger requires the wisdom of God. He stands ready to give us this wisdom (James 1:5). 

I.  YOUR “SPIRIT,” PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL. The Greek word for “spirit” used here is not specific in and of itself. Strongs definition of the word pneima leads us to conclude there are three ways in which this word may be used in reference to the human spirit.

Spirit – [Gk - pneuma]; a current of air, i.e. breath (blast) or a breeze; by analogy or figuratively, a spirit, i.e.

Human - the rational soul, (by implication) vital principle, mental disposition, etc.

Superhuman - an angel, demon.

Divine - God, Christ's spirit, the Holy Spirit:.

Three Uses of Pneuma

Where Man’s Spirit Now Communicates With God’s Spirit - Romans 8:16.

Personal Spirit’s That Influence Our Lives - Luke 8:26-39.

Impersonal Spirit’s That We Manifest - Proverbs 22:24-25.

II.  EVALUATING THE SPIRIT.

We Are To Evaluate Our Own Spirit In Light of God’s Word – Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

We Are To Evaluate The Spirit of Others – 1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

III.  WE MUST KNOW WHAT SPIRIT WE MANIFEST TO OTHERS - Prov 16:2-3 All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits. 3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.  Many People Are Deceived Concerning Their Spirit.

What Is A Spirit of Anger?

•  A spirit of anger keeps those around us on edge.
• A spirit of anger is detected in tone of voice and attitude. 
•  A spirit of anger diminishes the life potential of both the person controlled by it and those who are the Recipients of it.  
• A spirit of anger is the opposite of the spirit of Christ, which was as a spirit of meekness.

What Is The Fullness of God’s Spirit? 

It is when God’s Spirit is in control of our spirit.  Ps 51:10  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

A person controlled by God’s Spirit will positively impact the lives of others. 

IV.  VICTORY OVER ONE’S SPIRIT.  Victory over our actions is important (Controlling anger), but victory over one’s spirit is more important (Resolving Anger).

When The Spirit Of Anger Is In Control, The Works Of The Flesh Are Manifested – Galatians 5:16-17, 19-21.

The Spirit Of Anger Stirs Up Strife – Proverbs 29:22; 26:21; Romans 2:7-8.

V.  THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR ANGER.  Many try to justify anger by giving the following reasons: Anger is the only way to bring some people in line.  Anger releases tension.  Anger is fine if it is only “righteous indignation.”

Scripture Clearly Shows That Anger (as displayed by man) is…

Always wrong

Always carnal

Never righteous

Psalm 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Proverbs 19:19  A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.

Ecclesiastes 7:9  Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Proverbs 11:29  He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.  (Note – troubleth [HB - `akar] = to excite some degree of anger).

Proverbs 11:17  The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.

WHAT ABOUT RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION?

THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR ANGER.  Many try to justify anger by giving the following reasons:

1. Anger is the only way to bring some people in line. 

2. Anger releases tension.

3. Anger is fine if it is only “righteous indignation.”

There are many counselors today who believe that there is a place for anger and that it must not be stifled. Scripture, however, teaches that anger is not the release for tension but is result of tension.

Ps 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Prov 19:19 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou  must do it again.

Eccl 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

The Folly of justifying your anger by “getting angry only once in a while.”

Prov 11:29 He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.   “Troubeleth” [`Akar] = to excite some degree of anger.

Anger not only damages those around us, it damages us as well.

Prov 11:17 The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.

I. WHAT ABOUT RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION?  The words “righteous” and “indignation” are never used in Scripture to justify a man’s anger or wrath.  For God to encourage us to do so would present a contradiction in Scripture.  The phrase “great or fiery indignation” is used only four times in Scripture.

Twice In Reference To God:

Deut 29:27-28  And the anger of the LORD was kindled against this land, to bring upon it all the curses that are written in this book: And the LORD rooted them out of their land in anger, and in wrath, and in great indignation, and cast them into another land, as it is this day.

Heb 10:27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

Twice In Reference To Man: 

2 Kings 3:27 Then he took his eldest son that should have reigned in his stead, and offered him  

for a burnt offering upon the wall. And there was great indignation against Israel: and they 

departed from him, and returned to their own land.

Neh 4:1 But it came to pass, that when Sanballat heard that we builded the wall, he was wroth, and took great indignation, and mocked the Jews.

Anger & Wrath Are In God’s Realm Of Jurisdiction, Not Ours.  Rom 12:19-21 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Man’s Anger Is Most Often Rooted In Pride Which Is The Root Of All Sin. Prov 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

II. GOD’ ANGER IS SPIRITUAL AND RESULTS IN JUSTICE.  Man’s anger is carnal and produces iniquity.

BUT DIDN’T JESUS GET ANGRY? First, Christ was God manifest in the flesh. Second, Jesus always did as the Father directed.

Jesus Christ: Isa 61:1-2 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

Luke 19:41, 45-46 And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it,.. And he went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold therein, and them that bought; Saying unto them, It is written, My house is the house of prayer: but ye have made it a den of thieves.

III. GOD HAS, CAN AND DOES DELEGATE THE EXECUTION OF PUNISHMENT TO PERSONS IN AUTHORITY.

Government In The Punishment Of Evil Doers:

Rom 13:3-6 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake. For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.

Even though God delegates authority for vengeance in the punishment of evil doers, He does not give freedom for anger or wrath.  If a judge becomes emotionally involved in a case and exhibits anger, it is commonly accepted as grounds for appeal or re-trail.

IV. WHAT ABOUT THE VERSE WHICH SAYS, “Be angry and sin not”?

Eph 4:26-27  Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

This is not a command to be angry, but a warning to respond correctly when you feel anger. The Greek phrase “be ye angry” is in the passive, present, imperative tense, which means that it is being acted upon rather than initiating the action.

Man’s anger is the result of God given emotion and passion tainted by the sin nature.

The passage is really saying, if you sense or feel anger respond to it righteously.  Notice this fits the context of verses which occur later in the chapter - Eph 4:31-32  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

V. WHY CAN WE NOT RESPOND IN ANGER?

1.     Anger is not something you can control in yourself. 

2.     Anger is not something you can control in others.

Prov 21:23-24 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath.

HOW TO GAIN VICTORY OVER ANGER

 2 Samuel 16:5-13

STEP #1 – Recognize that acting on anger is wrong.

STEP #2 – Identify areas of weakness in your life (immorality, pride, doubt).

STEP #3 – Be Truthful In Evaluating Your Anger. Ask yourself..

What makes you angry?

How often do you get angry?

How long does your anger last?

Who is affected by your anger?

How is your anger manifested?

How desperate are you to conquer anger?

WHY DO PEOPLE GET ANGRY!

Unresolved Hurts From The Past.  Hurt turned to wrath results in guilt. The Lord would have us turn offenses into forgiveness.

Matthew 5:44-45 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. (also Luke 6:28).

Frustration Over People With Similar Faults – David & Nathan (2 Samuel 12:1-12).

Envy - Saul got angry with Jonathan for defending David; at David over praise by women; at the priest for aiding David.

Titus 3:3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

Wrong Response To Emotional Wounds - Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

            Anger Over Unfulfilled Expectations – Mary & Martha.

           

Anger Over Injustice – Absolam’s anger with older brother eventually was directed toward his father David.

Taking Up The Offences of Others - Psalm 15:1, 3 LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?.. He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.

Bitterness Towards God – Jonah & the Gourd.  Resistance towards - Design (self-acceptance), Authority (inward peace),  Responsibility (a clear conscience),  Suffering (genuine joy),  Ownership (true security),  Freedom (moral purity),  Success (life purpose).

STEP #4 – Learn to view anger as an alarm system. Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

STEP #5 – Learn to ask God why?  God wants us to know what He is doing in our life (Isaiah 1:18-20).  James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Why We Need To Know:

1.     So we can see how all things work together for good (Romans 8:28). 

2.     So we can have reasons to thank God (1 Thess 5:18; Phlp 4:4). 

3.     So we can identify with Christ (Galatians 2:20).

4.     So we will learn to Cry out to God more readily (Psalm 5:15).

Why Did God Allow Joseph To Suffer?

1.     So he could overcome pride.

2.     So he could learn the benefit of being a servant. 

3.     To teach him to be faithful.

4.     To teach him the importance of moral purity.

5.     To teach him how to be a godly leader.

6.     To provide for the needs of others at a later time

Why Does God Allow Us To Experience Troubles? Here are just a few!

1.     To humble us so we can benefit from experiencing God’s grace (Prov 13:10; 1 Peter 5:5).

2.     To build character in us.  As we yield ourselves to God’s Spirit we experience more of God’s power through the availability of the fruit’s of the Spirit.

3.     To give me loving correction.

4.     To prepare me to provide wise counsel to others.

5.     To equip me for leadership.

THE POWER OF FORGIVNESS 

Genesis 50:15-21

¹⁵ And when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.

¹⁶ And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying,

¹⁷ So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.

¹⁸ And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.

¹⁹ And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?

²⁰ But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

²¹ Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Bitterness is a destructive force that leads to bondage. 

·       It destroys people and relationships.

·       It makes us prisoners of our hurts and wounding’s.

·       Job described bitterness this way: One dies in his full strength, being wholly at ease and quiet... And another dies in the bitterness of his soul, and never eats in pleasure. Job 21:23, 25

The symptoms of an unforgiving spirit. Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

1.     Emotional symptoms:

·       Bitterness – deeply felt resentment.

·       Wrath – extreme anger, rage.

·       Anger –  mild displeasure.

2.     Behavioral symptoms:

·       Clamour – a need to keep talking bad about a person or offense.

·       Evil speaking – hateful speech; pointing out faults, criticize.

·       Malice – to intentionally harm, get even.

We ask God to forgive these and He does, but until we forgive those who have hurt us, a part of our soul will continue to be enslaved by the destructive habits of bitterness. (See Ephesians 4)

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

Forgiveness is a source of emotional health and freedom. It has the power to set us free from the hurts of the past, whether we are talking about ten minutes ago, or ten years ago.  

Forgiveness is powerful because . . .

1.     FORGIVENESS FREES US TO LOVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT US (v 15-21).

Joseph's brothers acted out of hatred (v 20).  Ye thought evil against me.

·       Joseph didn't deny the sinful nature of his brother's actions.

·       But He refused to let their actions turn him into a bitter man.

Joseph responded to their actions with forgiveness. He understood two important life principles:

·       Men are accountable to God for the wrongs they do (v 19). Am I in the place of God?

­   His brothers had sinned against him and their actions were unjustifiable. Joseph doesn’t make any excuses for their behavior.

­   He understood they were accountable to God for their actions, not him.

·       God can overrule our hurts, even turning occasions of great emotional pain into something beneficial. God meant it unto good.

­   The actions of his brothers were NOT GOOD.

­   The results of their actions in his life were PAINFUL.

­   But God’s work WAS GOOD.

DEFINED: Forgiveness is an act of our will where we give up the right to hold another person accountable for what they have done to us.

·       It means releasing that person from any obligation to apologize to me. Because Joseph had forgiven his brothers he could “comfort” and speak “kindly” to them (v 21). You don't even have to voice it!

·       We don’t excuse their behavior or deny our hurt when we forgive. We simply choose, by an act of our will, to give up the right to make them pay us for the wrong they have done.

·       Forgiveness can even free us to love those who have deeply hurt us.

·       The alternative is to spend our days in bondage to destructive habits of bitterness.

Job 21:23, 25 One dies in his full strength, being wholly at ease and quiet... And another dies in the bitterness of his soul, and never eats in pleasure.

Forgiveness is powerful because . . .

2.     FORGIVENESS FREES US FROM THE CONSEQUENCE OF A BITTER SOUL. Ephesians 4:26-30 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: ²⁷ Neither give place to the devil. ²⁸ Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. ²⁹ Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. ³⁰ And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Unforgiven offences give Satan a “place” in your soul. The word place [topos] means an area of occupancy and jurisdiction. When Satan gains a place in the soul, he keeps us in bondage, directing us (See Graph on Page 13).

·       To act selfishly (v 28).  Getting our needs met the wrong way.

·       To speak hatefully (v 29).

·       To live carnally (v 30).

Many Christians have knelt at the altar of prayer, asking God to forgive them for their bitter and hateful actions, often promising to do better and be different,... but they can’t because Satan still has a place in their soul which he claims as his own because of past, unforgiven offences.

Forgiveness is powerful because . . .

3.     GOD KNOWS HOW TO REALLY FORGIVE. Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

We can forgive because we have been forgiven.

·       The key to forgiveness is to focus on what God has done for you.

·       As God forgave us we’re to forgive those who have hurt us

Steps to freedom.

1.     Ask & Let God forgive you.

­   Understand & Acknowledge the completeness of His forgiveness.

-       Confess your bitterness; selfish hateful speech; carnal living.

-       Agree with God that your feelings of bitterness, wrath, malice, etc. have no place in living a godly life.

-       Thank God for the blood of Christ that cleanses you from ALL sin.

2.     Forgive your offender.

-       As an act of your will, in faith before God, release them from any obligation to make things right.

-       Extend to them the same grace God has given you.

3.     Ask God to take possession of the place that Satan had claimed.

CONCLUSION: When you forgive...

·       Remember you're not asking God to forgive anyone.

·       You are doing the forgiving with God as witness.

·       Afterward, anytime Satan tries to stir up those old bitter feelings, you can remind him that place in your soul is no longer his to control.

·       You are free because you have exercised forgiveness.